so today is our company bowling party and i am proud announce that contrary to my normal reaction to bowling where i get word vomit and start telling everyone how i was all conference bowler sophomore year setting up everyone to be sorely disappointed when i suck, i kept my mouth shut.
for me bowling has always been an interesting experience. typically, someone will suggest it, which is when i then go into my schpeal about how amazing i am and how i can prove it with my 7th place ribbon if they would like. i then show up, can't find a ball that is both visually pleasing and the right weight. i bowl two frames and then my middle finger turns purple and hurts...and i then hate myself for agreeing to bowl. this is not made up. this is what is and will happen for the rest of my life. luckily, unlike most bowling experiences, this one today will have booze. for some reason i think i may be able to handle the finger pain if i am tipsy and stuffing pizza in my face. this is just a guess.
speaking of all conference bowler sophomore year...yeah, i have no real idea how that happened. i do have the ribbon stating 7th place and somewhere i have a plaque. what i can't seem to grasp is how this all come to be considering i have never been good at bowling. not even close to good. i never had a fancy glove or wrist thing...or anything else that bowlers use. i also didnt know how to make my ball curve like the good people do. i just aimed.
apparently, somehow, on the one day that it all counted....i must have just aimed really well. so well, in fact, that of all the people bowling, i hit the 7th most highest greatest amount of pins. or my score was the highest. or something like that.
in all honesty, i just saw being on the bowling team as something to do after school...and it was free bowling! who doesn't like free bowling?
today i heard the good charlotte song "boys and girls"...and one set of lyrics goes "not much to say in most conversations, but he'll foot the bill in all situation. 'cause he pays for everything". is it bad that all i could think was that this was my type of man. lets me talk about myself all the time and just pays for my shit. i wouldnt even mind if he was a little stupid. damn.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
free stuff.
why is it that the only time people get to have parties where they are showered with gifts is right as the are doing something that may or may not be a HUGE mistake?
bridal shower
baby shower
housewarming
now don't get me wrong, i don't want to put down the idea of getting married, having a baby, or getting a new house...but say that in my life, i choose not to get married, have a baby, or buy a house. does this mean that i don't deserve to be showered with new kitchen and bathroom accessories at any point? does the fact that i am working, paying down my student loan, and saving money mean that i shouldn't be able to have a party where people unload new pillows and down comforters and gift cards to bed bath & beyond on me?
at this point in my life, i can afford to just buy these things. however, if it ever gets to a point where i don't want to pay anymore, i can't make any promises that some poor schmuck wont be the victim of my "get free gifts" scheme where i marry him (party one) and have him buy me a house (party two) and then realize its not working out 1 year and 1 month later.
my understanding is that if you divorce within a year, you have to give the stuff back. yeah, not gonna happen.
the only real exception here is babies, because you can't divorce a baby or foreclose on one. once you make on you are stuck with it. its not like in 8 months you can decide its not going to work out and then break up with the baby. so for now i will just stay away from that area and let me friends do the work. and as i know very well, they are doing very well with covering the baby making.
way to make me feel left out ya fertile myrtles!
bridal shower
baby shower
housewarming
now don't get me wrong, i don't want to put down the idea of getting married, having a baby, or getting a new house...but say that in my life, i choose not to get married, have a baby, or buy a house. does this mean that i don't deserve to be showered with new kitchen and bathroom accessories at any point? does the fact that i am working, paying down my student loan, and saving money mean that i shouldn't be able to have a party where people unload new pillows and down comforters and gift cards to bed bath & beyond on me?
at this point in my life, i can afford to just buy these things. however, if it ever gets to a point where i don't want to pay anymore, i can't make any promises that some poor schmuck wont be the victim of my "get free gifts" scheme where i marry him (party one) and have him buy me a house (party two) and then realize its not working out 1 year and 1 month later.
my understanding is that if you divorce within a year, you have to give the stuff back. yeah, not gonna happen.
the only real exception here is babies, because you can't divorce a baby or foreclose on one. once you make on you are stuck with it. its not like in 8 months you can decide its not going to work out and then break up with the baby. so for now i will just stay away from that area and let me friends do the work. and as i know very well, they are doing very well with covering the baby making.
way to make me feel left out ya fertile myrtles!
Friday, July 9, 2010
baby on board (don't get excited mom)
so apparently the other day my grandma got a call from some democratic/harry reid group asking her if she would like to come see obama speak while he was in vegas. my assumption would be that she could probably bring me with, considering her current physical condition as a 74 year old.
she said no. the opposite of yes.
damnit grandma!!!
for some reason i was driving the other day and i saw someone who had a "baby on board" sign on their car. now i am not sure if there is one reason why people put these on their car, but i can only think of two reasons. one is that you have a baby and you want everyone to know because people love babies. the other is that you assume that my driving skills are below average and you would like to me to take some extra steps to reduce the likliehood that i will plow into you because you have a "baby on board".
last time i checked, i don't have a sign that says "living human on board" or "highly educated individual on board". i would like to think my driving is not that bad and for some jerky parent to assume that i drive like crap is just rude. i get it, you don't want me to hit you because there is a baby. well guess what...i dont want you to hit me either. i think the general consensus is that car accidents suck big ass. right? is there anyone that enjoys them, other than glen lerner? (thats local humor for my vegas peeps)
so i am happy to announce that the 15 now has pole things that separate the regular lanes from the express lanes. this sounds stupid to announce, but this situation has been a source of great annoyance for me. most people in the country understand that there is a reason for express lanes on the highway. you get in them and you don't get out until the next opening. that is why they are named differently. "express" and "regular" are not the same word, so you would think people could understand that their is some difference in their purpose. if you were supposed to be able to come in them and go as you please, they would be called regular lanes. or hookers.
well people here just don't get it. cars would hop in (over the 2 foot wide line between the lanes) and then hop out as they chose. not that it ever really affected me greatly by almost causing an accident or anything, but it was mentally stressful. how many times can you say outloud, in your car, "ya fuckin idiot"...before you just want to yell something out the window.
but now it's taken care of. i just cant wait for the day, and it will come, when someone tries to hop out of the express lanes by cutting through the poles.
you would think that this would not happen, but when you consider that my car insurance in las vegas with excellent credit, a masters degree, no accidents, and me being 25....is still $137 a month, you may understand why i hestitate to give other drivers the benefit of the doubt when it comes to assuming they won't do really stupid shit then they are driving.
maybe i should get a "baby on board" on sign.
she said no. the opposite of yes.
damnit grandma!!!
for some reason i was driving the other day and i saw someone who had a "baby on board" sign on their car. now i am not sure if there is one reason why people put these on their car, but i can only think of two reasons. one is that you have a baby and you want everyone to know because people love babies. the other is that you assume that my driving skills are below average and you would like to me to take some extra steps to reduce the likliehood that i will plow into you because you have a "baby on board".
last time i checked, i don't have a sign that says "living human on board" or "highly educated individual on board". i would like to think my driving is not that bad and for some jerky parent to assume that i drive like crap is just rude. i get it, you don't want me to hit you because there is a baby. well guess what...i dont want you to hit me either. i think the general consensus is that car accidents suck big ass. right? is there anyone that enjoys them, other than glen lerner? (thats local humor for my vegas peeps)
so i am happy to announce that the 15 now has pole things that separate the regular lanes from the express lanes. this sounds stupid to announce, but this situation has been a source of great annoyance for me. most people in the country understand that there is a reason for express lanes on the highway. you get in them and you don't get out until the next opening. that is why they are named differently. "express" and "regular" are not the same word, so you would think people could understand that their is some difference in their purpose. if you were supposed to be able to come in them and go as you please, they would be called regular lanes. or hookers.
well people here just don't get it. cars would hop in (over the 2 foot wide line between the lanes) and then hop out as they chose. not that it ever really affected me greatly by almost causing an accident or anything, but it was mentally stressful. how many times can you say outloud, in your car, "ya fuckin idiot"...before you just want to yell something out the window.
but now it's taken care of. i just cant wait for the day, and it will come, when someone tries to hop out of the express lanes by cutting through the poles.
you would think that this would not happen, but when you consider that my car insurance in las vegas with excellent credit, a masters degree, no accidents, and me being 25....is still $137 a month, you may understand why i hestitate to give other drivers the benefit of the doubt when it comes to assuming they won't do really stupid shit then they are driving.
maybe i should get a "baby on board" on sign.
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