there is a billboard on the side of the i-15 southbound that reads "heaven or hell"...and under heaven there is a phone number to call and under hell it quotes a bible verse or something.
1. the phone number for heaven is an 877 number. you call yourselves righteous? more like cheapskates.
2. i once called the number to see what happened and a man with a strong middle eastern accent answered and identified himself as pastor something or other. apparently even heaven outsources their call centers. i hung up though because i really didn't have anything to say to heaven. which leads to...
3. where is the phone number for hell!?!!? id honestly rather call hell. i mean, who wouldn't want to know what their accommodations are going to be for eternity? do i need a toothbrush? are ipods provided? do they serve premium liquor? this is the important stuff.
thanks for nothing heaven billboard. also thanks for sending jobs overseas. isn't jesus supposed to like america the best?
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