r-e-h-e-a-r-s-e-l

it seems like any time i read an article about people who are billionaires, there always seems to be this common theme of living a frugal lifestyle.  they have billionaires living in regular sized houses and driving beater cars.  the message always seems to be that people with lots of money have all that money because they are frugal.  needless to say, i would disagree.  call it a hunch, but i suspect being frugal did not make you billions of dollars.  ask anyone i know and they will tell you that while i am not cheap, i rarely if ever pay full price for most things.  this is frugality.  now go look at my bank account and you will see that that I am about...a billion dollars away from being a billionaire.

i personally think billionaires live frugally because they know that if they don't want to, they don't have to.  imagine you are driving down the street in your beat up 98 escort.  someone yells out the window "nice car loser"...and you continue on just a little more depressed than you were a minute ago.  now imagine you are a billionaire and the same thing happens.  not only can you say to yourself "fuck that person, i'm a billionaire"...but as a billionaire, you realistically have the power to get that person's license plate, have a friend get their information, and then have them disappear off the face of the planet without a trace. 

other options include following them to the subway they are going to, walking in, beating them with a tennis racket (assuming you have one), and paying everyone in the subway to pretend like they never saw it...or running their car off the road and then when they get out of the car, having a conversation with them about how rude it is to make fun of people.  the last one anyone could really do, but i am guessing there would be damages to the cars and considering it would be the billionaires fault, he or she would most likely have to pay.  and that would be okay because unless like most of us who are unwilling to spend $2000 to make a point, a billionaire probably wouldn't mind.  either way, being a billionaire opens up so many doors when it comes to social injustice.  also i would imagine it would open many door when it comes to fine dining and shoe shopping.


i don't know if there is anyone out there reading this that can relate, but i have to say that if you ask any person who has ever been in a real spelling bee...and didn't win...they can tell you exactly what word they went out on and how they incorrectly spelt it.  looking back, the fact that i could spell "electroencephalograph" but couldn't manage to get "rehearsal" out is really pathetic.

"rehearsal, R-E-H-E-A-R-S-E-L, rehearsal" - i was the smartest person in my class and went out on that. i always seemed to find little ways to remind my mom how great it was that she was paying tuition for me to be at a private catholic school.  nothing says "thanks mom" like 11th place at a spelling bee.

i will say, they did give us a 15 page long word list to study, but just like every other test in my life, i studied all the details of the event and the people involved and where it took place and the reasons it happened...but yeah, i forget to look at the year...and thats the only fucking detail that is asked for on the damn test!

i remember vividly that justin nelson, my male counterpart in grade school (we were both fat and smart) placed higher than me in that spelling bee.  i didn't mind justin except for the fact that he was the source of much stress in my grade school life.  for some reason because we were both fat and smart and i just so happened to trade my lunchable meat stack for his bag of chips at lunch time, we were somehow "dating".  i always had to dispel the myth that we were a hot item.  last time i checked, there are a few ways to tell if two people are dating.  not one of them has anything to do with the stack of ham out of a lunchable.  fuckin third graders. they can be real assholes.