shark week

i didn't want to do it. i really did not. but i did.

i turned on discovery and watched the top five eaten alive by a shark stories. honestly, the title was misleading.  these people were all still alive, therefore they were not eaten alive. obviously.

my favorite one was a guy who found his head and shoulders inside of a great white's mouth.  i have got to say, i give the guy credit.  he fought the shark. i can't say i would do the same if i found myself in a sharks mouth.  regardless after a good fight, the shark let him go and he swam up to the boat.  he then decided that he was not going to stop diving in the same waters because he was not going to "let the shark win". 

last time i checked, having a shark try and eat you is not something that the shark did in an effort to fuck you up emotionally.  he was hungry. he saw food. he bit into the food.  this isn't some on and off relationship where you tell yourself you have to get back on the dating scene otherwise your ex-girlfriend wins the fight by knowing she fucked you up in the head.  its a shark. if you show up again and the shark is hungry, he will try and eat you.  there is not emotional or mental aspect.  you look like big fish and you taste delicious.  thats all the shark knows. idiot.


i also watched "i didn't know i was pregnant".  first of all, the fact that they have enough stories to create a weekly program out of this situation is pretty god damn scary...for any woman.  second, the specific one i was watching involved a woman who was in terrible pain, bleeding from her lady parts...and when the baby finally came out decided that the paramedics were crazy and there was no way that was her baby.  really lady?  your bleeding and having terrible cramping and then something comes flying out of your vagina to which you claim "made me feel so much better"...and there is a baby covered in uterus goo...and you still think there is no way it was yours?  after she finally figured out it was, she then told her other kids that they would be bringing home a special souvenir from their boating trip.  i don't know about you, but if my mom and dad went on a boating trip one day and came back with a baby, i would first wonder if my parents were kidnappers and then i would be pissed because babies get more attention.  thats bullshit mom and dad!!  i would rather just have a keychain!