didn't make it to church? here, put these skinny jeans on

let me say, i have and never will purchase a pair of skinny jeans. once i brought a pair into the dressing room on accident and immediately screamed loudly at how scary the image looking back at me was. that was with just one leg in the pants. newsflash: when you accidentally try on skinny jeans, it does not take both legs to figure that out.

with this said, i wasn't really sure as why skinny jeans were named as they were. that was, until after seeing them worn for a while, i realized this label was given to them because they should only be worn by skinny people. yeah, i said it. i don't think skinny jeans should be made in sizes bigger than 6. now some ladies may be thinking "well i wear a size 8 and i am skinny". no you are not. you are most definitely not fat, but you are not skinny, and neither are your thighs. ironically, i am one of those people who thinks people of all sizes should be able to wear a bikini if they want. more power to you if you are larger and want a damn tan! to me, that just tells me you have confidence. i suppose my issue with skinny jeans roots in how incredibly stupid they look on everyone. also, the people that i know personally that have worn them seem to have issues upstairs. although, i guess you would have to if you thought it was a good idea to wear spandex-like pants made of jean material.


when i was younger, and attended catholic school, the school decided to implement a program by which on mondays, they would come into class and ask you to write down which service you attended and two songs that had been sung. as if raping your family out of needed money wasn't enough, if you were a child of a family that had not made it to church that weekend, you had to either cheat and find someone who would tell you (naughty kids go to hell) or you had to suffer the humiliation of admitting you didn't go to church. back in the day, as some may know, my personality was quite different than today. i was a scared, nervous, crying way too much type of person. if i had known where i would be today, i would very likely instituted option 3.

"i didn't go to church because god doesn't exist. also the songs suck."